03 August 2012

reflections of... the way life used to be...

  When was the last time I used my laptop? Last year, I think. After my desktop died I just used Bob's, since he wasn't home (When he was home and we had only one desktop and no laptop, one of us was always on it: "can I use it for a while now???"). Now that he's home, he's still not using it, but now his bed is in the living room (where the desktop lives), and although he sleeps much of the day he's also ready to "go to bed" and have me turn the lights out before 9 most nights. So here I am, with my giant laptop on a small lapdesk, in the bedroom. It runs windows 7 (I think), which, when I first got it, I got used to rather quickly and like some features of. The "sticky notes," for one thing. They're cool. Now I just need to figure out how to get comfortable in bed while typing... or while knitting, for that matter. If I do it in the kitchen he can't sleep because of the light. Next on the shopping list is a couple more curtain rods, and a couple more curtains to use in doorways, to block the light.

  A social worker from the Veterans' Administration came out today. She'll be looking into getting us some financial help and maybe even (she said) "four or six or eight hours a week Respite Care," so that I can get out and do something for my own psyche once in a while. Of course, while he's still so dependent, me going to school or working is out of the question. We're not going to have a repeat of December '10 thru March '11, when every time I got home from school or from grocery shopping he'd be laying on the floor.

  Being home all the time isn't especially restrictive to me, but not being able to go outside to, for instance, mow, for a couple hours at a time, that is hard on me. I find myself hovering around indoors till he gets up (noonish), and then hanging around in case he needs to walk to the bathroom (with me tagging along, so he doesn't fall), or to fix him something to eat, or to encourage him to exercise. So other than laundry, reading, and facebook games I haven't gotten a whole hell of a lot done this past month.

 

5 comments:

Eileen said...

Oh my, it mustn't be easy for either of you. I hope you're able to get the respite care to allow some time to be able to get out, even if it is just to mow the lawn.

Do you have family or friends who come to help out at all?

Take care!

WynnSong said...

I'm not sure the circumstances but I understand life throwing curves our way.....extreme ones at times. Lifting you up in my thoughts and prayers for better days ahead......

jana said...

what is wrong with your husband? have just read your blog for the first time. my prayers are with you. i was there to awhile back with my husband. bless his soul. he passed ten yrs. ago. very lonely without him now. jana

meowmom said...

Thanks Wynnsong, Eileen, and Jana. Bob's recent story begins with a lung tumor in February/March 2009, if you feel like scrolling back that far. Then it skips to August/September 2010 with a metastasis, and March 2011 - July 2012 with time in a nursing home. Now he's back home again, though he did spend this past weekend in the hospital.

Madge Bloom said...

I'm so thankful that at long last Bob is home, but know that things are still not 'normal.' My husband is pretty stable these days, but going through his heart failure (CHF), loss of his job, income, disability and all that went along with it was daunting and a long process. I hope Bob continues to gain strength and you find a new normal...