mad at UPS and Lowes

We have new appliances! Sis sent her old washer/dryer set home with us last time we visited (she'd bought a new set) and Mom shipped up her old side-by-side fridge when her kitchen remodel left a space too short for it to fit in. The washer and dryer finally made it out of the garage and into the house a few weeks ago after one of the hoses to the old washer sprang a leak.

The fridge sits in the UPS warehouse in Lexington. UPS can't negotiate our road, they say. They also don't carry refrigerator dollys on their trucks, what's up with that?! Since I have to have my fingers in every pie, I need to be here when the fridge arrives, so it needs to be on a weekend. The only place in town that rents dollys (Uhaul) is open 1/2 day Saturdays, closed Sundays. I get home about 7PM Fridays, leave 5AM Mondays. Th'Mr is not driving at all (and that's a whole 'nother story).

But WTF, isn't UPS paid to deliver to my door?!

I desperately need a water heater and a new stove. The water heater is ancient and runs on one element. The other one is rusted beyond the point of replacement. The old stove (1963 model) refuses to keep an oven element functioning for any amount of time. I could rewire the whole thing, but you know how old stoves get: they leak heat, they leak mysterious "juices" when something's baking, the clocks and lights stop working. I need a new one.

Found both at Lowe's. The stove is about $350, the water heater about $230. I considered hiring someone to come install at least the WH, I figured $50-75 would be worth it if that included hauling the old one away... nope. $240 is what they get to deliver, hook up, "test," and haul off the old one (side note: "test?" Um, if one is paid to install something, isn't it taken for granted it's done correctly? Isn't even mentioning that the installer will TEST his/her work an insult to my intelligence?) Well, hooking up a water heater is not a big deal; I can do that, though it would have been nice to get the old one disposed of in one swell foop like that.

Okay, but they'll deliver, right? We live about 12 miles from the Lowes. Nope. Lowes only delivers "major appliances that cost $398 or more." But wait, a stove for $350 pus a WH for $230, plus tax, that's six hundred. Nope, each appliance needs to be over $398. Or I can pay $65 each to have it delivered. One sales clerk even suggested I get a "better" model of each, to bring the price up above the delivery minimum!

Pah.

Or I can borrow the neighbor's truck (since Moby Dodge is still out of commission), top off his gas tank as a friendly gesture, rent a refrigerator dolly for eight bucks a day, and thumb my nose at the services provided by the big box stores.

Now if I can coordinate this so UPS gets the refrigerator close on the same day I rent a dolly, borrow a pickup, and buy appliances, then I'm all set, I'll have a whole weekend shot to hell, and my house will be a little more modernized.